


Only in My Dreams

by IvanW



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dreams, Explicit Sexual Content, Gay Sex, Jealousy, M/M, Pining, Pon Farr, Possessive Behavior, Prior Relationships, Romance, Sexual Tension, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-06-17
Packaged: 2018-04-01 07:18:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 14,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4010803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvanW/pseuds/IvanW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just days into their five-year mission, Jim begins to have vivid dreams.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What Dreams May Come?

_Hands smoothed over his naked body. A growl broke the silence of his quarters as he was pushed face down into the mattress and entered._

Jim woke with a gasp, a coating of sweat drenching his tank top and shorts. He sat up, panting. His erection was painfully hard. He squeezed himself until it went away.

 _Not again_.

Jim got out of bed and went into the bathroom. He turned the water spout on the sink and splashed his face. He waited.

Just on time.

“Captain?” Spock stepped inside their shared bathroom.

“I’m fine, Mister Spock.”

“Another nightmare?”

“Uh. Right. Yeah.”

“It is likely your recent brush with death and the events surrounding the demise of Admiral Pike have unsettled you.”

“Probably,” Jim agreed, because it was easier.

“Have you spoken to Dr. McCoy?”

Jim laughed at that. Because really, it was all too funny. In a twisted sort of way. “No, I haven’t talked to Bones. I’m not really sure he’d understand.”

Spock stepped closer, his hands clutched behind his back. ““Perhaps it would be beneficial to speak with me if you are uncomfortable bringing it up with the doctor.”

 “Yeah. Um. It’s okay, Spock. I’ll consider talking to Bones.”

“If you are experiencing unsettling dreams—”

Jim forced a smile. “I’m gonna, you know, go back to bed now. Sorry I bothered you.”

“You did not. Nyota and I were just finishing a late dinner.”

He nodded. “Well, then, you should probably get back to her. See you for shift.”

Jim returned to his room but there was no way he was going back to sleep. He might have the same dream again. He’d already had it five nights in a row. They’d barely begun their five-year mission.

And Jim was having nightly sex with Spock. In his dreams.

****

“You look terrible,” Bones announced as Jim arrived at their table in the mess room. He’d chosen a plate of pancakes, which he set in front of Bones, who inspected it carefully before giving it his approval.

“Thanks, Bones. I can always count on you for compliments.” Jim stared into his coffee cup, made a face.

“You want compliments go seek out Chekov. He thinks you walk on water. You want honesty? You come to your best friend.”

Jim stabbed at the pancakes. “I’m having trouble sleeping.”

Bones nodded. “That explains the deep discoloration under your eyes.”

“At most I get a couple of hours at a time and they’re…um…restless.”

“Meaning?” Bones asked with a frown.

“Interrupted by dreams. Well…dream.”

“The same one?”

“Yeah. Well, sort of. It’s always the same scenario, if not exactly verbatim.”

“About your dying?”

Jim winced. “I wish you wouldn’t say that with such glee.”

Bones snorted. “Listen, I’m about the last one who’s gleeful about that.”

“I know.”

“So?”

“Um, no. They aren’t about my death. But they are very graphic. Like it’s really happening. I’ve had vivid dreams before, Bones, but this…I’d fucking swear it was happening. Until I wake up. But my body reacts as though it really was happening.” Jim sighed and picked up his coffee. “If that makes sense.”

“Bad dreams then.”

Jim nodded. “Yes. Bad. Terrible. Unimaginable. But these dreams? They’re keeping me from sleeping.”

“So you have insomnia or you’re deliberately staying awake so you won’t dream?”

“Mostly the latter.”

“Jim, you have to sleep.”

“I know. Maybe you can give me something that will really put me out?”

Bones nodded. “I’ll do it tonight after your shift.”

Just then Spock and Uhura came toward their table carrying breakfast trays.

“Ever since you two decided to be besties we have to eat meals with him,” Bones grumbled.

Jim laughed. “You’ll get over it. Good Morning.”

“Good morning, Captain,” Uhura said with a smile as she took her seat next to Spock, who had sat across from Jim. She studied him. “Are you all right?”

He flashed his best smile. “Of course. Why do you ask?”

“You’re really pale. And you have bags under your eyes.”

“The captain is experiencing unsettling dreams,” Spock spoke up.

“It’s no big deal. Let’s talk about the landing party today.”

****

“All right, Jim,” Bones said, rising from Jim’s couch. “It’s late and you need your sleep.”

Jim didn’t want to go to sleep. “Come on. Stay a little longer. Remember that time on Risa when we—”

“I don’t need to hear any more of your sexual exploits.” Bones shook his head. “I still can’t believe you managed to sleep with the high priestess today on that planet.”

Jim grinned. “I work fast.”

“Apparently. But you went after her with even more determination than usual.”

Damn straight he had. And that was it exactly. Jim was straight. Completely. Totally. Irrevocably straight. Yes, James T. Kirk loved the ladies. And definitely not Vulcans. Or a certain Vulcan. Nope. No way.

“She was cute.” He shrugged.

“You’ll never change.” Bones took out a hypospray. “This will help you sleep. I want eight hours, Jim. At least.”

Jim eyed the hypo. “You don’t have a pill or something?”

“Nope.”

“You’re far too happy about that.”

Bones smiled. He pushed it into Jim’s neck. “Go to sleep, sleeping beauty.”

“Okay, thanks, Bones.”

Jim watched Bones exit his quarters and he removed his uniform and changed into his sleep shorts and tank top. He’d had sex that very day. He should be fine. There would be no reason to dream about sex with-with…first officers…or anyone else.

He sat on the edge of his bed and rubbed the area of his neck where Bones had injected him. Damn thing. It itched.

He laid down. He really did need sleep. And it should be fine. Yeah. Fine.

“ _Oh God, Oh, God,” Jim moaned. His legs were hiked up and wrapped around Spock’s waist as Spock thrust into him over and over. “Spock!”_

_Spock’s hand reached for Jim’s meld points. “T’hy’la.”_

Jim’s lungs heaved as he woke violently. His sheets were covered in cum, his ass twitched.

“Fuck,” he said, frustrated, running his hand through his hair.  “What the fuck is this?”    


	2. Totally Love You

_“Wait, Spock. Not in the turbolift,” Jim protested as Spock slammed him against the bulkhead._

_“Yes, exactly here,” Spock murmured low as he held Jim’s hands his head. “You are mine.”_

_His gaze met Spock’s hot, dark gaze so full of lust and possession that Jim’s breath caught in his throat. “Spock—”_

“Captain?”

Jim jerked awake to meet the startled stare of his chief engineer. “Uh. Scotty?”

“Aye, Captain. You’re in engineering.”

Jim wiped his hand over his eyes and straightened up. He’d fallen asleep next to the engines. He shook his head and struggled to his feet. “Sorry about that. I couldn’t sleep and I decided to come play around here. Must have fallen asleep.”

“Aye, you kept saying Mister Spock.”

He forced a laugh, hoping it would hide the embarrassment he was sure was coloring his face. “Must have been dreaming about a mission.”

Scotty smiled. “No doubt. Can I help you with anything?”

“No, no. I’ll get out of your hair now.” Jim glanced toward the warp core chamber and for a moment too many memories flooded him. He felt Scotty squeeze his shoulder and he nodded at his chief engineer. “See you later, Scotty. “

Jim made his way out of engineering and straight to the mess room. He was early, sure, but there was no way he was going to sleep. And he needed mass amounts of coffee.

He got himself two cups of coffee and a small bowl of fruit and then went to sit with Carol Marcus who sat by herself looking bleary-eyed.

“Morning.”

She smiled. “Good morning.”

“You are up early? Right?”

“A bit. I wanted to get started on some experiments with the phaser array. How about you?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“That explains it.”

Jim arched both eyebrows at her. “Explains what?”

“You don’t look so good.”

“I’m so glad I have a crew who’s not afraid to tell me I look like shit,” he joked. Sort of.

Carol laughed. “You don’t look like shit. You just don’t look like yourself.”

Jim smiled and sipped his first cup of coffee. “How are you doing? I know it’s gotta still be hard for you.”

“It’s hard for everyone, Captain. No more so for me.”

“Not everyone lost their father.”

Her eyes turned sad.  “No, I know. “ She covered his hand with hers. “Not everyone sacrificed their very life for the safety of their crew.”

“It was nothing,” Jim insisted. He was already tired of hearing about it. From the press, the admiralty, his family, his friends, the crew. They’d all have done the same in his place.

“No, it was not nothing.” She shook her head. “But since I know it makes you uncomfortable, I do have something else I’d like to talk to you about.”

He leaned back in his chair. “Go for it.”

“Does Dr. McCoy, um, does he, is he interested in relationships?”

Jim grinned at her blush. “Well, he was married once.”

“Yes, but he doesn’t speak well of the experience.” Her eyes were alight with amusement.

“True,” Jim admitted. “Why don’t you ask him out?”

“You think he’d say yes?”

“Definitely. He likes you.”

She smiled. “That is good news.” She squeezed his hand and rose. “And now I need to get to my experiments. I hope you can get better rest soon.”

“Thanks, Carol. See you later.”

Jim finished the first cup of coffee and started on the second, poking at his fruit.

****

“Spock?”

“One moment, Captain.” Spock pushed on another section of the rock wall. Then another.

“Mister Spock?”

“One moment,” Spock repeated. He pushed on two more and the wall shook and gave way to an opening outside on the planet surface. Spock, Jim, and the others passed through.

Jim tried his communicator. “Kirk to Enterprise.”

“Enterprise here, Captain.”

“Standby.” Jim turned to Spock with a grin. “I totally love you.”

Spock gave him a blank stare.

Jim cleared his throat. “You know. In a totally platonic, buddy sort of way.”

Spock nodded. “Understood.”

Jim turned and spoke into his communicator. He totally ignored the strange look he was getting from Bones. “Five to beam up.”

Jim had made it almost half way down the corridor before Bones caught up to him with a hand on his shoulder bringing him to a full stop.

“Bones, what the hell?”

“You. Sickbay. Now.”

“I’m fine.” But Bones grabbed him and pulled him into the turbolift and directed it to sickbay.

“I need to check you out. That scorpion-thing stung you.”

“You treated it on the planet.”

“Have to see if there are any other reactions. Jesus, Jim. You know how you are. I want to make extra sure,” Bones told him. He pushed and pulled him toward sickbay and made him sit. Bones pulled out an assortment of hyposprays and his medical tricorder.

“You’re worse than a mother hen, you know that?” Jim protested.

“And you’re the worst patient any doctor ever had. Stop whining.” He shoved a hypo at Jim’s neck. “You aren’t sleeping still.”

“I slept a little.”

“Very little. You’re exhausted mentally and physically. You practically let that scorpion-thing walk up to you and sting you. You’re acting weirder than even usual. Your skin is pallid.”

“Whatever you gave me didn’t stop the dream, Bones.”

“What exactly is this dream if it isn’t about your dying?”

Jim shook his head. “I can’t talk about it.”

“That bad?”

“You have no idea. And every time I shut my eyes, it comes back.” Jim eyed Bones. “Isn’t there something you can give me so I won’t dream?”

Bones shrugged. “I thought I had. We can try something tonight. But if that doesn’t work, you may have to spend the night here and we’ll monitor your sleep.”

Jim frowned. “Um, not sure that’s a good idea.”

“We need to do something, Jim. You’re going to collapse if you don’t sleep.” Bones stabbed one more hypo into his neck. “Luckily for you, you don’t seem to be having any unusual reactions to that sting. Next time something comes toward you like that, get out of the way.”

Jim nodded and rose.

“Why don’t you try to get some sleep now? I’ll tell Spock I took you off for a few hours.”

“Good idea, Bones.”

Jim left sickbay and headed straight for his quarters. He took off his uniform and crawled into bed, falling into a deep sleep the minute his head hit the pillow.

_Long fingers threaded through his blond locks, massaging his skull. Hot breath brushed his ear and neck. A tongue darted out to trace the shell of his ear. Jim moaned as the sheet was lifted from his bare body._


	3. An Affair to Remember

_So, um, I think I’m having an affair. I know what you’ll be thinking when you read this, Dying finally set my son over the edge of sanity. And I can’t really say I haven’t thought that myself._

_I should be sleeping right now instead of up sending messages to you. But I don’t sleep very well these days._

_Anyway, back to my affair. Can someone have an affair without knowing it? I am. I think. With someone who has a girlfriend. She doesn’t know about us. I’m not even sure…the person …I am having the affair knows. Maybe. This person is aggressive. Sometimes it’s like an assault. But I’m not unwilling._

_And I can’t even believe I am sending this to my mother. But now that Chris is gone, I don’t know who to turn to._    

“Your eyes are bloodshot.”

“Uh-huh.”

Bones frowned and pulled Jim’s plate of eggs away from Jim to inspect them.

“They’re just eggs, Bones. Nothing nefarious.”

“Don’t get smart with me, kid.” Bones pushed the plate of eggs back at Jim. “I thought that super blood would get rid of all your allergies.”

“Nope,” Jim said cheerfully.

“Nope,” Bones agreed. “More dreams?”

Jim almost lied. Because, really, he didn’t want to talk about this. Not with Bones. He could only imagine what Bones would have to say about who starred In Jim’s fantasies. Strike that. Not fantasies. No way. Straight Jim. He did not fantasize about men. No. Or even Vulcans. No especially Vulcans. They were dreams. Unwanted dreams. Nightmares.

“Jim!”

“Yeah, sorry, Bones. More dreams.”

“You didn’t come to me last night for a different kind of sleep aid.”

“I thought I could work through it.” Jim grimaced and reached for his coffee. Black and double strength.

“I think it’s time you told me about these dreams.”

“I was afraid it would come to this,” Jim said with a sigh.

Bones foot prodded his under the table. “So?”

“They’re, uh, sexual.”

“They’re what now?”

Jim rolled his eyes. “You heard me.”

“Sexual dreams are keeping you awake.”

“They’re, uh, disturbing.”

“Like she turns into a Gorn in the middle or something?”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Jim demanded.

Bones laughed. “Well.”

“She doesn’t turn into anything, Bones. Because she isn’t a she. She’s a he.”

“You’re having dreams about having sex with a guy? You?”

“There’s nothing wrong with guys.”

“Did I say there was? You just have never shown any interest in the same sex before.”

“Yeah, I-I don’t. Um. Not usually.”

Bones eyed him. “Who is he?”

“I don’t know,” Jim lied. “I never see his face. But it’s graphic. Very. And it’s disturbing.”

“You said that once.”

“Well, it still is.”

“Eat your eggs,” Bones ordered. “So you’re having wet dreams and you’re that freaked out?”

“I’ve had wet dreams before, Bones. When I was a teenager. This is different. I always wake up before the other guy, you know, finishes.” Jim felt his face heat.

“Maybe you should let him finish,” Bones joked.

“Shut up.”

“Sorry. Look, I’ll give you something else tonight. It should make you sleep better, without interruption.”

Jim blew out a breath. “Yeah?”

Bones smiled and patted Jim’s arm. “Trust me.”

****

Jim stepped onto the bridge and was instantly aware of Spock sitting at his station. It’s not like Spock wasn’t always there, because he was. But now—

He stepped toward Spock’s station without even thinking about it. Spock turned at his approach and Jim’s gaze went straight to Spock’s lips. Jim raised his fingers to his own lips. He could actually remember the taste of Spock’s lips on his. The kisses were so sensuous, so passionate. No one had ever kissed Jim like that.

“Captain?” Spock had stood up and looked his version of concerned. “Are you unwell?”

“What?”

“Captain?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you unwell?”

Jim shook his head, lowered his fingers from his lips. “I’m fine, Spock. Was just thinking.”

He moved off to his chair, trying to ignore the Vulcan to his right.

A short time later a brunette Yeoman stepped up to his chair and handed him a PADD with a smile. “Need your signature, sir.”

Jim smiled. She was pretty. Very pretty. Now that he thought about it, he was offered the services of a personal yeoman but he’d turned down Starfleet, thinking he didn’t need one. Now he thought maybe it had been a mistake. Not that he could sleep with her anyway. That would be so inappropriate.

But this yeoman…she wasn’t his personal yeoman. He took the PADD from her and widened his smile.

_Mine_.

Jim frowned. He looked toward Spock’s station but not only was Spock not there, but as he turned around he saw that Spock was over speaking to Uhura quietly. So Spock couldn’t have said anything.

”Captain? Your signature?”

He glanced at the Yeoman, signed it and handed back to her. “That will be all, Yeoman.”


	4. A Disordered Mind

_Honey, if you don’t know if you’re having an affair, how am I supposed to? You’re being very mysterious. Are you sure you’re feeling all right? You did die of radiation poisoning. Maybe there are aftereffects? Listen to me. Going on about nothing. I need more details about this affair if you want me to help._

Like that was going to happen. Oh sure.

_Hey, Mom, I’m getting fucked nightly by my first officer._

Nope. No way. Jim sighed and glanced at the time. It was almost the hour and probably too late to cancel on Spock now. They were supposed to play chess. They’d gotten in the habit while Jim had been in the hospital.

His door whistled.

And right on time. Strike that. Two minutes early.

“Enter.”

Spock stepped inside, his hands clenched behind his back. That always looked uncomfortable to Jim, now that he thought about it. Not that he thought about any parts of Spock’s body. Much.

Jim cleared his throat. “You want that tea you like, Spock?”

“The ship’s synthesizers do not include the tea I had in San Francisco,” Spock replied. He went over to Jim’s synthesizer.  “Just plain herbal tea will do.” Spock studied Jim. “Perhaps you would do well to have something without caffeine yourself.”

“Are you gonna say I look like shit too, Mister Spock?”

“I beg your pardon?”

Jim rolled his eyes. “Never mind.” He got espresso, a double shot, and went over to sit in front of the three-D chess set. He waited for Spock to take his own seat before Jim moved his first pawn,

“I am concerned for your health, Captain.”

“I’m fine, Spock. I, uh, I have a cold or something.”

“That does not explain your unsettling dreams.”

“Sure it does. I am probably delirious with fever. Bones is bringing me a hypo or whatever later.”

“Then you have spoken with the doctor about them?”

“Yeah, he thinks they’re nothing to worry about.” Bones hadn’t said that exactly, but Jim was pretty sure Bones wasn’t taking Jim’s sexual dreams very seriously. “How are you, Spock?”

Spock blinked. “Captain?”

He’d asked just to take the conversation away from himself, but Jim didn’t fail to notice the surprise and slight hesitation from Spock when he’d asked.

“You have a problem?”

“No.” Spock shook his head.

“Vulcans aren’t supposed to lie, right?’ Jim leaned forward. “Spit it out, mister.”

“My mind is disordered of late,” Spock replied after a lengthy silence where he stared at the game.

“Yeah? Your…telepathicness or whatever?”

Spock nodded. “Meditation has not been as helpful as it has in the past.”

“You need a doctor or something?”

“A doctor such as Dr. McCoy would be unable to assist with the Vulcan mind, Captain. If it does not right itself with my own methods, I will consult my father for advice.”

“Oh. Okay. Great. Let me know if I can do anything,” Jim said. He moved his chess piece after Spock moved his. “So I’ve been thinking about our first shore leave.”

“We have barely begun our five-year mission, Captain.”

Jim grinned. “Well, I know that, Spock.  But it will come up eventually. There’s this pleasure planet. Bones and I went there years ago during a break from the academy. Risa. You hear of it?”

“Yes.” Spock stiffened around the shoulders. He reached for his chess piece.

“Well, some of it might not interest you that much. But there are these women there who—”

“No!” Spock suddenly stood and knocked the chess set flying and hot coffee into Jim’s lap.

Jim stood up. “Ow. Fuck.”

Spock stared at Jim. “Captain, my apologies. Are you injured?”

“Well, it doesn’t feel great,” Jim replied, heading into the bathroom.

 Spock followed him to the door. “I-I am not myself tonight. Perhaps we can play another night?”

“Yeah, okay.” Jim started undoing his pants. Spock looked stricken. “It’s all right, Spock. I’m fine. It just stings a bit. You can go.”

Spock nodded and disappeared. A moment later Jim heard the door to his quarters open and close.

****

Less than half an hour later his door whistled again.

“Come in, Bones.”

Bones stepped inside. “How’d you know it was me?”

“ESP.”

“Huh?”

 “You were the only one I was expecting. You got the sleep aid?’

“I do.” Bones held up his medical bag.

“It’s not a hammer to hit me over the head or anything is it?”

Bones snorted. “That comes next if this doesn’t work.” He eyed the chess set still strewn about Jim’s quarters. “You lose again?”

“Funny. Nah, that was Spock. He lost it or something.”

“Spock? Spock lost it?”

“Yeah, his mind is disordered. And honestly? I have absolutely no idea what that means. The man’s a mystery to me. Or the Vulcan. Whatever. I’ll clean it up later.”

“I’m not sure how Uhura puts up with him,” Bones said with a shake of his head.

“Yeah.” Jim felt an ache in his heart. No. Couldn’t be there. Must be his stomach. Stupid ship’s food. “Um. Anyway. Never mind that. Give me the goods.”

“The goods? What are you in a bad mobster movie?" Bones rolled his eyes. “Go lie down. This will work right away and I’m not carrying you to bed.”

Jim nodded and went to his bed, pulling back the covers. He laid down and covered himself. Then he adjusted the covers. And his pillow.

Bones stared down at him. “Comfy now?”

Jim smiled. “I think so, doc.”

“Okay, princess. Nighty night.”

Jim felt the pinch of the hypo. He frowned. “I don’t think it—”


	5. The Captain's Blowjob

****

Spock found himself unable to mediate. He tried twice since leaving the captain’s quarters. Both times left him…unfulfilled.  He went to the synthesizer to obtain tea when the door to his door whistled.

He clenched his fists, very tempted to ignore the intruder. He narrowed his eyes.  He hoped it was not Nyota. He did not want to see anyone at the moment.

“Computer, identify visitor.”

“Dr. Leonard McCoy.”

Spock was surprised enough to call out, “Enter” for the computer to unlock the door.

McCoy stepped inside and Spock could not figure out what the doctor wanted, but whatever it was, it was unwelcome. Spock felt a burning anger invade himself. He tried to control it, but it seethed nonetheless.

“Doctor, I do not remember asking you to come to my private quarters.”

McCoy hesitated, looking a bit taken aback. “No, you didn’t, Spock. Jim mentioned you were having some trouble so I thought I’d stop by to see if you needed anything.”

“Jim,” Spock repeated coolly.

“That’s right.”

“You are very familiar with him.”

“Uh, well, yeah, he’s my friend. Almost like a brother.”

The anger increased and Spock took a step closer to McCoy. ”What did _Jim_ tell you?”

“Something about your mind being disordered.”

“Both of you should mind your own business.”

McCoy blinked. “The health of this ship’s crew is my business, Spock. And it’s Jim’s as the captain.”

“I ask that you cease that this instant.”

“Cease what?”

“Referring to the captain by his personal name.”

“Are you out of your Vulcan mind?”

“The answer to your inquiry, doctor, is that I am perfectly fine and I do not need your interference. Leave my quarters.”

A muscle jumped in McCoy’s jaw. “I really wonder why I bothered. Jim was just concerned was all. We’re both a couple of idiots.” He turned to leave.

A sudden, terrible thought entered Spock’s mind. “Did you see the captain naked?”

“What?”

“When you spoke to him, was he naked?”

“No, he was not. I put him in bed and—”

“You were in bed with him?” Spock demanded, taking another step toward McCoy.

“What? No. What the hell is the matter with you?” McCoy shook his head. “Get some rest, Spock. Jim was right. Your mind is disordered.”

Spock waited for the doctor to leave. Then he stalked into the bathroom and then over to the door that led to Jim’s quarters.  He put his hand against the door.

_“What do you want, Spock?” Jim asked, dropping to his knees before Spock. His blue eyes rose and he stared up at Spock, his pupils blown wide. “Do you want me to take your cock into my mouth?”_

_“Yes,” Spock said with a quick nod. “Yes, I want that.”_

_Jim’s lips curved into a sinful smile. “It would be my pleasure, Mister Spock.”_

_His fingers rose to the bass of Spock’s shaft and he curved them around it. He brought the mushroomed tip to his wet, moistened lips and opened his mouth to take Spock in._

_Spock groaned._

Spock stumbled against the door of the bathroom, leaning against it heavily as he panted. He shook his head desperately to clear the erotic images from his mind. Too erotic. Of the Captain. His friend.

_Jim_.

Spock straightened. Took a deep breath and exhaled deeply. He was in control. He walked back out of the bathroom and fell upon his bed, face down.

****

“So, then I said, you can’t really think of the Andorian language that way—” Nyota stopped suddenly. “Spock, are you listening?”

Spock’s gaze rose from the contents of his breakfast plate to Nyota who sat across from him, frowning slightly. “I am sorry, Nyota. My mind is a bit preoccupied.”

“The meditation isn’t helping?”

“Negative.”

“It’s probably everything that’s happened these past few months. Nero, losing your mom and your planet, that Volcano, the attack on Starfleet, Captain Pike’s death, Khan. It’s no wonder we’re not all bat shit crazy.”

Spock looked past her as he saw Jim and Dr. McCoy step into the mess room. Jim looked more pale still and he wore a fake smile as McCoy said something to him. The dark circles under his eyes were somewhat lessened.

They approached his table with Nyota and though Dr. McCoy looked disgruntled he came with the captain.

“Good morning, Commander, Lieutenant.”

“Good morning, Captain,” Nyota said.

“Captain.”

Jim sat next to Nyota and McCoy sat next to Spock. Jim was saying something to Nyota but Spock had no idea what it was because his gaze had dropped to Jim’s mouth. His lips had just a touch of pink to them and as he spoke, his tongue darted out to trace them once or twice.

Spock felt his balls tighten as he remembered the feel of that very mouth, that very tongue on him. But of course that had not happened. Jim had not knelt before Spock and offered to-to give him what humans referred to as a blowjob. Spock dug his nails into the palm of his hand until his erection waned. He forced himself to think of laboratory experiments in mundane detail.   


	6. The Flirt

Captain Kirk was flirting. Irritatingly, blatantly, obnoxiously flirting.

His lush lips were curved into an outrageously bright smile, flashing white teeth. His lashes kept sweeping over his cerulean eyes. Even his hair seemed more golden than usual, which was entirely illogical to even contemplate.

Spock watched as the captain laughed at whatever the Dohlman of Elas, Elaan, said to him. She was beautiful, he could not deny that, but he had absolutely no interest in her. They had been charged with transporting her to Troyius for her upcoming marriage to the Crown Prince. Ever since they had picked up Elaan and her entourage she had been shamelessly trying to get the captain into her bed.

As far as Spock knew, she had been unsuccessful up to this point. But he also knew that the females of Elas had a biochemical in their tears that if it touched a man’s skin it was said he would be enraptured and enslaved by her forever.

Jim was not stupid. He had advised his command team of the risks of Elaan on their ship. And the crew had likewise been advised. They were only a few short hours away from reaching Troyius, their destination.

Spock, likewise, was not stupid. He had been watching the captain carefully the entire time Elaan had been on the ship. Spock had not had much sleep nor meditation. All attempts by Nyota to engage him in social activities had been in vain. Spock had but one goal.

And as Elaan reached out to touch Jim, Spock had finally reached his limit of patience with the situation. He stalked over to the captain and the Dohlman and put himself between them.

“You will not touch him,” Spock said coldly.

He heard Jim’s sharp intake of breath behind him but Spock ignored him. Elaan backed up and narrowed her eyes.

“How dare you,” Elaan said, seething.

“He has no interest in anything you have to offer him.”

“Spock—”

“She wiped her eye just before she went to touch you, Captain.” Spock turned to the Troyius ambassador who had come to escort her to Troyius. “For the duration of the journey, the Dohlman is confined to her quarters. Security will escort her.”

When Elaan, her entourage, and the ambassador left the conference room along with security, it was only Spock and Jim left.

“You want to explain that to me?” Jim demanded.

Spock stiffened and clenched his fists. He did not turn around. “No, I do not.”

“Turn around and face me, Commander.”

Spock forced himself to turn. He was unable to keep a muscle in his jaw from jumping. 

“What. Was. That?”

“Your behavior was not appropriate.”

Jim stared at Spock. “ _My_ behavior?”

“If you had allowed her to touch you, as she wished to do so, you would have been under her spell.”

“I knew what I was doing. I had everything under control. I don’t know what you thought you were doing, but—”

Spock advanced on Jim until he was suddenly pushed against the edge of the conference table. Jim’s eyes widened and his lips parted in surprise. Spock trapped him there with his arms on either side of Jim.

“What I am doing is keeping you from throwing yourself at every female that seeks to bed you.”

“What?”

Spock gritted his teeth. “You are well aware of your sexual appeal.”

“My-my what?” Jim seemed to back further into the table.

“I will not stand aside while you act in such blatant disregard for me.”

Jim drew in a breath. “Disregard for you? Spock, what the hell?”

Spock’s nostrils flared as anger and jealousy so powerful he could not contain it flared through him.  He grasped Jim’s jaw in a vice-like grip. “Do. Not. Test. Me.”

His gaze went to Jim’s throat and then back to Jim’s face.

“You are aware of what I am capable of,” Spock told him coolly. “I would not hesitate to eliminate my challengers.”

“Challengers?” Jim shook his head.

Spock released his chin and straightened away from him. “I must return to duty,” he told Jim abruptly.

“Spock!”

“Yes, Captain?”

“I’m not sure you’re fit for duty.”

“Of course I am,” Spock assured him. He turned and left the conference room.

****

Jim entered his quarters five minutes later. He was hot. So hot. He stripped out of his command shirt. Then the one under that. He was still burning. He removed his boots and then the rest of his clothes. It did little good. He was consumed with fire, with lust, with need.

The bobbing erect cock between his legs was something he could no longer ignore. He sunk onto his bed, wrapped his fist around his dick and jerked himself hard and fast until he came, screaming Spock’s name.   


	7. Lunch With Spock

“You look less tired,” Bones told Jim the next day when he met Bones for lunch in the mess.

Jim forced a smile. He had not slept any better. No, not at all. He was totally losing his mind. And Spock was losing it right along with him. But Jim did know a trick women used. Makeup. He’d borrowed some from Carol Marcus and took care of the bags under his eyes. Concealer or whatever she called it. If it fooled Bones, at least temporarily, that was a good thing.

“Yep, slept fine,” Jim lied.

“No dreams?”

“None.” _Oh, James Kirk, you are such a liar._

In fact, after jerking himself off to thoughts of Spock, Jim had fallen asleep and had the most graphic dream yet. Spock was biting him, holding him down, repeating, “mine, mine, mine” like a litany. Jim had woke, lying flat on his stomach, ass in the air, fisting the covers and biting his own pillow. Talk about embarrassing.

“Well, good. Guess my hypos have been helping. And whatever that was—those dreams—are over and done with.”

Jim nodded. A change of subject was in order. “So, got any romantic plans?”

Bones blinked. “Um, look, Jim, I know you’ve been dreaming about a guy, but I just don’t think of you that way.”

Jim laughed. He actually laughed. And it was hard to laugh right now. “You have gotta be kidding me, Bones. Now I have to have brain bleach.”

Bones grinned. “Well, I—”

“Captain, Doctor.” Spock appeared at their table, looming over them with a lethal silence. Maybe Jim was imagining the almost predator way Spock stared down at him, holding a tray with a salad.

“Are you gonna sit or what, Spock?” Bones asked.

“When you have moved over.”

“Moved over? There’s a seat right there.” Bones pointed to the seat across from Jim.

“I choose to sit next to the captain.”

“You choose to—”

Jim shook his head at Bones. “Go on, Bones, move over.”

Bones grimaced and then with a dramatic sigh he scooted across the bench.  Before Jim could slide over to give Spock the seat on the end, Spock placed himself between Jim and Bones.

Jim cleared his throat as he noticed Bones staring at Spock with wide eyes.

“What was the doctor saying that you found so amusing, Captain?” Spock asked.

“Amusing?” Jim repeated, feeling very out of sorts.

“I heard you laughing from across the room and could not help but notice how much you seemed to be enjoying Dr. McCoy’s company.”

“We were just talking, Spock. Nothing special.” Jim leaned past Spock to speak to Bones. “In fact, I was about to ask him if he had a date with anyone.”

Spock turned to stare at Bones. “An answer I would also like to have.”

Bones took a bite of the turkey sandwich he had been ignoring. He spoke around a mouthful of it. “If you two busybodies must know, yes, I have a date with Carol.”

“Carol Marcus?” Spock asked.

“You know another Carol?”

Spock nodded. “There is Ensign Carol Owns, Chief Carol Gordon, Lieutenant Carol Mey—”

“Yes, Carol Marcus, Spock,” Bones said with barely contained annoyance. “This is our fourth date as a matter of fact.”

“So you are pursuing a romantic relationship with Dr. Marcus,” Spock said carefully.

Bones shrugged. “You could say that, yeah.”

“I am gratified to hear that you are not a threat,” Spock said with a nod as he began to eat his salad. He seemed to relax his previous rigid stance.

“A threat to what?” Bones asked, his face wrinkling in confusion.

“So,” Jim said quickly. “Four dates, huh? That must mean you and Carol—”

“You mind your own business, Jim.” Bones suddenly stood. “And this is far too cozy for me. I’m going back to sickbay. Glad you’re not having those dreams anymore, Jim.”

Spock kept his gaze on Jim when Bones walked away.

Jim picked up his fork to cut off a piece of his baked chicken. After a moment he threw it down. “You all right, Spock?”

“You are no longer experiencing unsettling dreams, Jim?”

“Not as much.” Jim avoided Spock’s gaze. “Where’s Uhura?”

Spock’s gaze became more intense. “I would guess at her post.”

“She didn’t want to have lunch with you?”

“Nyota and I have ended our relationship.”

“What?”

“We were experiencing… problems.”

Jim licked his lips. Spock’s gaze went right to Jim’s mouth. “Pr-problems? What sort of problems?”

“You know what.”

“Me? No. No. No. Not me. I have-I have no idea.” Jim shook his head. “If you’re-if you’re—oh look, lunch is over. Gotta go to the bridge.” He stood.

Spock ensnared his wrist. Held Jim tightly.

Jim stared down at Spock’s hand gripping his wrist. “You want to let go of me?”

Very slowly, Spock’s fingers loosened and Jim was able to break free.

As Jim walked away he heard the word, “Mine.”


	8. An Intensity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there are many of you waiting for this.

Spock paced his room. He felt…on edge. Unsettled. Irrational. Irritated.

Where were these _emotions_ coming from?

It was getting worse. This restless urge to take…what? He did not know. Not at first. He had ignored it when it started. Pushed it aside through sheer will and Vulcan control. There had been a time or two when he’d snapped at Nyota for her continued probing. But mostly he’d had it under control.

Then he had noticed he no longer wished to engage in coitus with Nyota. He had been unable to pretend otherwise and eventually his excuses had become noticeable to her. She became angry and jealous, accusing Spock of desiring someone over her. He had denied it and she had not believed him.

Nyota had ended their relationship. Spock could not blame her. Though he had not chosen to do so…yet, he likely would have eventually given the circumstances. He hoped they could remain friends, though at the moment she was very angry and upset with him.

Spock clenched his fists and stalked toward the bathroom door.

_Jim_.

This was his fault. Spock might have lost the desire for Nyota, but now he burned for Jim. Which was…impossible.

Jim was promiscuous with women. In fact in the last ten planets they’d visited, Jim had managed to bed at least six women. He would have given into the wiles of Elaan if Spock hadn’t stopped him.

His captain was the absolute worst choice for Spock to desire. Yet Spock did. It was maddening.

He moved through the bathroom to the door to the captain’s quarters. He put his hand on the door. He could smell Jim. The captain was definitely in his quarters. Waiting. Waiting. Spock must—

Spock turned away and stalked back into his own quarters.

Jim was his. Didn’t he know that?

Spock shook his head. Why would he think that? Jim was not his.

He sat down on his bed and buried his face in his hands. What was this? This could not be what he suspected. If it was then, Jim was…but no.

Spock could not even finish that thought. How would that have happened? Spock would have known if he had bonded with his captain. His father. He needed to ask his father.

****

Jim finished off a report and sent it to headquarters with a yawn. He sat behind his desk and stared at his bed across the room. He needed sleep, this Jim knew. But he also knew if he got into that bed and fell asleep, he would be taken by a very insistent Vulcan. Only in his dreams, of course.

Although, Spock was acting very unSpock-like. All that talk of threats and challenges. Not to mention “mine”. If Jim didn’t know any better he’d think—

Sure, he’d read a thing or two about Pon Farr. Vulcans were secretive about it, but Jim was no fool and he’d learned a trick or two about accessing classified information. And since he was going to have a Vulcan first officer, he’d been curious.

But Pon Farr was all about mating non-stop and making babies. As far as Jim knew, Spock hadn’t expressed any desire for progeny.   And if he had, surely he wouldn’t have split with Uhura.

Jim stood and stripped out of his two uniform shirts. What he needed was a shower. Maybe a warm one to make him sleepy instead of horny. Because right then? He was horny as hell.

And the weird thing? He totally wanted to get fucked. Which was crazy. Straight, Jim. Straight. Okay, so maybe there were a few times he’d checked out Spock since he met him. He’d have to be dead not to see that Spock was hot. Blistering, scorching hot. Sure, everyone noticed that.

Hadn’t they?

Jim rubbed the back of his neck and shook his head. Whatever. He removed his pants and then stepped into the bathroom with only his boxer briefs on. He was about to turn on the sonic when he heard Spock groan from his quarters. Concerned Spock was hurt, Jim opened the door.

“Spock? You okay?”

There was no answer, so Jim entered Spock’s quarters. “Spock?”

Spock was sitting on the edge of his bed, his hands covering his face. He lowered his hands when Jim called his name. He stared at Jim, eyes wide and impossibly dark. It was difficult to tell where Spock’s pupils were in the vast darkness of those eyes.

Jim licked his lips. “Uh, you okay?”

“I am not,” Spock whispered, his voice sounding rough and hoarse.

“What is it?”

Spock stood and without seeming to take any steps, he was in front of Jim. Jim blinked, his breath freezing, as he tilted his head slightly to meet Spock’s eyes.

“You consume me.” Spock gripped Jim’s arms, pulling him hard against Spock’s rigid muscular body.

Jim opened his mouth on a gasp as Spock’s lips crushed over his, brutal and demanding. He was lifted off his feet, which damn, how strong _was_ Spock? Very soon, Jim couldn’t breathe. He tried to pull away to catch just a little bit of breath, but Spock made some animalistic sound of protest.

And just when he wondered if he was going to pass out from either the lack of breath or the intensity of the kiss, Spock broke away and Jim landed on his feet. He stumbled a little from the abruptness of it.

“Get out,” Spock ground out.

“What?”

“Leave me. Now.”

Jim shook his head and backed away. Spock was once more covering his face with his hands. Jim heeded Spock’s demand and returned to his own quarters. He touched his fingers to his lips. Spock’s mouth tasted even better than in his dreams. He was fucked.


	9. The Chieftain's Claim

Jim glanced at an angry looking Uhura as he stepped into the turbolift. She was already in it when the doors had opened to admit him. He was tempted to find some excuse not to ride with her, but he was the captain, damn it. So he sucked it up.

“Lieutenant.”

“Sir.” There was a definite hint of sarcasm behind the word.

“Are you all right?” he forced himself to ask.

She sighed.

“Uhura?”

“Spock and I broke up.”

“Oh.” He nodded. He knew that of course. Didn’t know if he should acknowledge it. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“I’m sure there’s somebody else.”

Jim froze. “Some-somebody else?”

“He didn’t say who or even that there was. But I could tell.” She folded her arms across her chest. “He’s been acting strange.”

“Strange?”

“Strange for Spock.” She shook her head. “When I find out who she is I’m going to break her face for her.”

“Well, I, uh.” Jim rubbed his face. The doors opened onto the bridge, and Uhura stepped off and went to her station.

Jim looked toward Spock’s station as he headed to his chair, but Spock wasn’t there. Chekov was. Weird. Spock would usually be there.

It was another hour before Spock finally appeared. He came out of the turbolift walking with pronounced rigidness. His jaw looked like it would break. He went straight to his station without looking around.

They were supposed to beam down to a planet shortly. Jim wondered if he should take Spock with him given his very strange behavior. But in the end, he wanted Spock with him. He always wanted Spock with him. Which he totally shouldn't feel that way. He glanced back at Spock and inwardly sighed.

****

His head was killing him. So much so that he did not want to open his eyes. But yet someone was insisting.

“That’s it. Wake up. Come on, Jim. Open your eyes.”

Jim swatted at Bones.

“You missed. Open your eyes.”

Jim swore but slowly his lashes lifted. Bones was shining a bright light in them. “Fuck you.”

Bones laughed and the light disappeared. “Sorry. Had to see if your pupils reacted.”

“React to this.” Jim flipped him off.

Bones just chuckled more. “You sure get surly when you hit your head.”

“I hit my head?”

“Well, someone hit it for you.” Bones helped him to sit up in the biobed. “Fortunately you have a really hard head, so there’s not much damage.”

“I don’t really remember.”

“From what I have been told the chieftain down there tried to claim you.”

“Wait. What?”

“There’s more,” Bones said with a smirk.

“Whatever this is, you’re enjoying it far too much at my expense.”

“Anyway,” Bones continued. “Spock went apeshit.”

“Spock?”

“That’s the words Sulu used. The chieftain hit you over your head and threw you over his shoulder, intending to carry you off to his love shack, I guess.”

“I swear to God I’m going to deck you.” Jim scowled.

Bones doubled over laughing. “That’s when Spock went apeshit. Needless to say, the chieftain didn’t claim you and here you are.”

“Where’s Spock?”

“Confined to quarters.”

“You had him arrested?”

“No, no. Nothing like that.” Bones suddenly looked serious. “You want some water or tea or something? You need to hear this.”

“Need to hear what?” Jim felt panicked. “Is something wrong with Spock?”

“You could say that, yeah.”

“What? What is it? Is it Pon Farr?”

Bones looked startled. “You know about Pon Farr?”

“Yeah, I looked into it before.”

“Well.” Bones nodded. “He’s not fit for duty as he is right now. We’re taking him to New Vulcan. There’s this ceremony he has to go through first with his…his mate. And then I guess they have to…do it. For several days.” Bones looked very uncomfortable. “It’s already been cleared with the admiralty. Spock and his mate have been given leave to deal with it.” Bones looked away. He could swear his friend was blushing. “We’ll make sure Spock and his mate have what is needed to make it as, uh, comfortable as possible.”  

Jim let that wash over him. His stomach was in knots and his heart ached. So did his head. “Uhura?”

Bones gave him a strange look. “No, Jim. Not Uhura. She’s not Spock’s mate.”

Jim frowned. “Then who?”

“You, Jim. You’re Spock’s mate.”

“Holy shit.” So it was true.

“You’re telling me.”

Jim swallowed heavily. “Are you sure?”

“Spock says so.”

“Fuck. That-that explains a few things.”

Bones crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Like your dreams?”

“Uh.”

“You dreamed about Spock and you didn’t tell me?”

“Would you tell you?”

“You have a point,” Bones said. “Look, Jim, I don’t know how you feel about this, but if this doesn’t happen for Spock he’ll die.”

Jim buried his face in his hands. “I know.”

“So?”

Jim looked up at him. “You don’t need to ask, Bones. I have to do this. I can’t let Spock die.”

“I know. So, um, after the ceremony, I guess, they’ll set something up for you two for the duration of the—the whatever.”

“It’s called non-stop sex, Bones.”

Bones grimaced. “I know that. I’m trying to be sensitive.”

Jim snorted. “Since when?”

Bones ignored him. “I’ll give you some shots so you can breathe the atmosphere. And also, you know, um, the lubricant.”

“Oh fuck, will you just shut up, Bones?” Jim covered his face again. He could do this. Obviously. He’d been doing it in his dreams. And hell, Spock was hot. He couldn’t deny that.

“You’ll be husbands after this. You know that right?”

“They don’t call them husbands I think. I don’t know. But yeah, I know. And the admiralty knows all this?”

“Yeah. They know you two are the best. They’re not going to screw that up.”

Jim bit his lip. “How’s Spock taking this?”

“How do you think? He nearly killed that chieftain, Jim.”

“He does get rather…intense.” Jim licked his lips. “Okay. Can I go?”

“Yeah. But you’re confined to quarters until we get to New Vulcan. Spock doesn’t want anyone near you. He kind of goes a little nuts.”

“You’re near me,” Jim pointed out.

Bones smiled. “He’s deemed me not a threat.”

“Thank God for that anyway.”

“How’s your head?”

“Feels like crap.”

Bones shoved a hypo into Jim’s neck.

“Ouch.” Jim rubbed the spot. “You and your sneak attacks.”

Bones squeezed his shoulder. “Get some rest. You’re going to need it.”    


	10. An Out

Jim stopped outside Spock’s quarters. He probably shouldn’t bother Spock. Or maybe he should. Jim really had no idea. He was totally out of his element at the moment. After all they were engaged or something. Weren’t they? He should say something. Shouldn’t he?

Something like, “Hey, Spock, I’m letting you have my ass so you won’t die?” Er, no. Probably not the thing to say. It was true, though.

And Jim supposed he wasn’t as straight as he pretended because he did get hard over Spock, that Vulcan was hot. He got hard thinking about Spock _claiming_ him, cavemannish or not. Spock knew how to kiss too. And…oh hell. Whatever. This Pon Farr stuff was not going to be a hardship. It was the after part. The til death part. Yeah. Jim swallowed.

Suddenly there was a loud noise from within, a startled gasp, and Spock shouting.

The door slid open and as Jim stepped out of the way, a bowl came flying through the doorway and landed against the bulkhead. A thick orange substance splattered all over.  Nurse Chapel came running out after it.

Her hand to her mouth, she stared at Jim. “Sorry, Captain, I just thought—”

Jim nodded. “Got it, Nurse. I’ll take it from here.”

“Yes, Captain.”

Jim stepped through the doorway. “Spock?”

There was no answer but he felt a blazing heat coming from within.

The door closed behind him.

“Spock?”

Suddenly Spock was there. He wore a black robe and looked all the more austere for it. His hands were folded in front of him, almost as though in prayer. His eyes swirled oddly, like they were full of storm clouds, but of course they were ordinary eyes. Jim was imagining things.

Jim stepped closer to him. He made himself. Jim was no coward. And he was not afraid of Spock. Exactly.

“Are you okay?”

“You should not be here.”

“Well, the door opened and Nurse Chapel—”

Spock’s gaze flicked to the door as though he was determining if Jim lied. His gaze landed back on Jim. “You should not be here because it is dangerous for you.”

“Dangerous?” He licked his lips.

Spock was suddenly standing in front of Jim. He’d moved like a stealthy predator. His fingers grasped Jim’s face and Jim’s head was tilted back. “I want you.”

Jim blinked, felt the answering stirring between his legs. “And that’s dangerous?”

“At present…yes. We must wait for the appointed time.”

“After the ceremony on New Vulcan.”

Spock did not respond, but his eyes got darker as he stared into Jim’s eyes. “I cannot quell my desire for you with mere sex at the moment.”

“Mere? I think you underestimate me,” Jim said, only half-joking.

“I do not. Once we start I will not stop.”

Jim huffed out a breath. “Well, you’ll stop eventually.”

“Not for days.”

“How-how many days?”

“I am uncertain.” Spock searched Jim’s eyes. “You fear me.”

“Not exactly. Well. I mean, you are stronger than me. You’ve sort of made sure I knew that before.”

“You speak of my emotional compromise.”

“Yeah.”

“It was then our bond formed.”

“What?” Jim shook his head. Or tried to. It was hard with Spock’s Vulcan grip.

“Our minds touched, met, yearned. The link formed.” Spock’s fingers fell from Jim’s face.

“How long have you known?”

“Some part of me suspected it formed then. I wished to deny it.”

“Oh.” Jim nodded. That he understood. Jim was great for sex. Not so great for anything else.

“You misunderstand. I did not expect to ever form a bond of this nature.” Spock turned away. “This time…this madness? We do not speak of it. Our bond is…unnatural.”

Jim winced. “Because we’re two men?”

Spock stared hard at him. “Of course not. And you misunderstand again. I meant that the sort of bond we have has not been experienced in hundreds of years. Our bonds are formed through arrangements as children. I had such a bond myself but my betrothed was killed with the destruction of Vulcan. That misfortune allowed our minds to connect on the bridge during my compromise. It is likely the bond would have found another way at some point, but it did not need to.”

“Okay,” Jim said slowly.

“I did not know for sure of its existence until my affliction.”

“The Pon Farr?”

“Yes. My desire for you, in all ways, can no longer be denied.” Spock paused. “Unless you deny it.”

Jim shook his head. “I won’t let you die.”

Spock’s nod was slow. “I ask that you leave before I lose what sense I have. If the madness, the Plak Tow, overtakes me I will not let you go nor will I allow anyone else near you.”

“Spock, do you even like me?" Jim asked.

Spock stared at him.

“I mean, yeah, I get it. We’re friends. I know that. But do you really want this? For me to be your husband?”

Spock stalked closer. “I will not allow you to have anyone else. I will destroy your challenger if you name one.”

Jim sighed. “I won’t. It’s just…I guess I’m trying to say, when all of this is done, I don’t expect you to-to—”

Spock’s inhaled sharply. “Explain. You would choose another?”

“No. I already said I’m doing this. I just don’t want you to feel stuck with me. After.”

“You wish your freedom.”

“That’s not what I said,” Jim denied it. “I’d give you yours.”

“You do not understand Vulcan bonds.”

“No, I don’t.”

Spock turned his back on Jim. “I will not want my freedom. There will be no one else.”

Jim felt an ache in his heart. “Spock—”

“You wish to pursue others.” Spock’s voice was cold and flat.

“No. I don’t—I mean I don’t even know what I’m saying or doing. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. Again. And the last thing I want to do is hurt you.”

“You do not understand the depth of my regard. You do not share it.”

Jim bit his lip. “Spock, will you look at me?”

Spock was shaking when he turned around. Jim swallowed the lump in his throat. He went to Spock, put his arms around his neck and kissed him. Hard, thoroughly and with a lot of tongue. By the time he broke away, Spock was breathless and staring at him in a daze.

“I don’t think you understand the depth of _my_ regard,” Jim whispered. “Remember when you said I consume you? Well you consume me. And I fucking worship you. And I always will.”

Spock closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Jim’s. “Then we are agreed.”

Jim laughed a little breathlessly. “Yeah. So, um, I guess I’m going to my quarters. Until the appointed time or whatever.”

“Please.”

Jim nodded and stepped away. “Okay. See you soon?”

Spock nodded and turned away as Jim left his quarters.  
 


	11. Plak Tow

Jim was restless in his quarters. He didn’t want to be there. But he was stuck there until they reached New Vulcan. No one wanted to see Spock lose it because Jim was near others. And wasn’t that weird, anyway. He’d never known Spock was the jealous type.

His door chimed and he stopped pacing. The only one it could be was Bones.

“Come in.”

It was not Bones. It was Uhura. And she looked pissed.

“ _You_.”

“Uh. Uhura.”

“You bastard.”

“Listen, it’s not what you think.”

“You’re not sleeping with my boyfriend” Uhura demanded.

“What? No. I’m not. Yet. Um. Look it’s not like that.”

“Isn’t it?” She crossed her arms in front of her chest. “You think I’m an idiot? I know you’ve been perving on him since the beginning. But he was never interested.”

“Perving on him?” Jim shook his head. “I wasn’t.”

“Please. Now, all of a sudden, he has to have _you_. What did you do, Kirk?”

The door to the bathroom opened with a click and Spock was suddenly there right behind Jim and Jim didn’t know how, but he could feel Spock’s aggression.

“Spock, no,” Jim said, without making eye contact. “Nyota, you need to leave.”

She glared at him. “I haven’t finished having my say.”

“But—”

“I thought you and I had become friends, but for you to steal my boyfriend…that’s just so low.” Her hand rose toward his face.

Spock growled and started for her.

“No!” Jim pushed Uhura out of the way and grabbed Spock by his biceps. “Uhura, the Pon Farr. Spock isn’t himself. You need to go. Now.”

He didn’t turn around but the door swished open and closed. Spock’s nostrils flared and he was panting. “She intended to strike you.”

“She didn’t.”

“I will not permit anyone to harm you.”

“Spock, calm down. It’s all right. She wouldn’t. And you can’t hurt her. She’s your friend. She was-was your girlfriend. You don’t want to hurt Nyota.”

Spock visibly sagged. “I have already done so.”

“I know you didn’t want to,” Jim said soothingly.

“I did not.”

“I know. She’ll know it too. She will. She’s just upset.”

“I could not let her strike you.”

Jim smiled. “I know that too.”

“My controls—”

“Shh.” Jim reached up to cup Spock’s rigid jaw. “It won’t be long. We’re almost there.”

Spock sighed, closed his eyes, and leaned into Jim’s touch.  “Ashaya.”

“What does that mean?”

“It is an endearment, similar but not the same as sweetheart.”

“Sweetheart,” Jim said softly. Spock opened his eyes and stared into Jim’s. “So, um, exactly what can I expect from this? It’s got to be logical, I’m sure.”

“It is not,” Spock assured him. “We are driven to mate.”

Jim licked his lips. “Yeah. I read that. I mean I know the basics. But I thought reading it that you’d be driven to mate with a female.”

“It is whoever we are bonded to.”

“And that’s me.”

“Yes.” Spock kissed him. It was a soft gentle kiss, which surprised Jim under the circumstances. “We will mate many times.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that.” Jim huffed a breath while Spock’s kisses became more heated. “Many times is kind of vague though.”

“I do not have a specific amount to give you.”

Jim swallowed. “That’s—that’s actually pretty hot.”

“Indeed.” Spock’s tongue slipped into Jim’s mouth and Jim moaned and released Spock’s biceps to loop his arms around Spock’s neck. “I will claim you,” Spock said against Jim’s mouth. “And then you will belong to me.”

“Claim me?”

“Repeatedly.”

“That sounds kind of barbaric.”

“Affirmative.” Spock’s hands moved down to Jim’s ass. Suddenly he gripped Jim’s cheeks and lifted him off the floor. Jim found himself slammed against the bulkhead of his quarters. “I will take you again and again.”

The kisses stopped long enough for Jim’s tongue to swipe across his bottom lip. “And again?”

“Yes.” Spock’s pupils were blown wide. “I would claim you now.”

“Aren’t you supposed to wait for the appointed time?”

“For the bond to form fully, yes. But that does not have to prevent us from copulating.”

Jim’s eyes widened. “It-it doesn’t?” He gulped in a breath when Spock’s hand found the bulge in his pants. “I dreamed of this.”

“Did you?” Spock nibbled on his lips.

“Was-was that part of this?”

“Undoubtedly. A human version of Pon Farr in anticipation of our mating.”

“That’s—that’s really hot. Gahhh.” Spock had undone Jim’s pants and his long fingers had slipped into Jim’s pants.

“Mine,” Spock growled.

“Spock, God.” Fingers curled around his trapped shaft. He lurched forward, wanting to rub against the questing digits.

Spock’s eyes were suddenly dark and stormy, a sort of madness, not at all the usual look of Spock’s eyes, and Jim felt the aggression return. _Oh shit_. Jim bucked away from him and Spock was so startled he stumbled back and way from Jim.

“We-we should wait.”

Spock stared at him, eyes wild.

“You’re in the madness, the Plak Tow.” Jim panted. “Go back to your quarters.”

Spock started to stalk toward him, fists clenched, head bowed low.

“No, Spock. Not now. Soon, I promise. Soon.”

Spock stopped, stiffened, and drew in a deep breath. “I apologize.”

Jim nodded. Spock turned and went into their shared bathroom. Jim stumbled toward the bed and finished what Spock had started.


	12. The Ceremony

“Captain, can I have a word with you?”

Jim froze at the sound of Uhura’s voice as he was about to enter the transporter room. He turned around. She was standing just a few feet away, dressed casually in pants and a sweater.

She seemed to know the direction of his thoughts because she said, “I’m not on duty at the moment.”

“I was actually about to beam down to New Vulcan.”

“I know. I wanted to talk to you before you did.”

He saw no overt signs of aggression, so he nodded. “Okay. Conference room?”

She shook her head. “I’ll be brief.”

He nodded again.

“I just-I wanted to apologize for my actions. Before. It was unprofessional as well as unkind. I know this was nothing you orchestrated.” Uhura shrugged. “It wasn’t easy breaking up with Spock. Some part of me knew we wouldn’t last forever but then he’s…he’s really something, so even knowing that, in my gut, I still went for it. You know?”

“I know.”

“And what I said about him never being interested in you was a lie too. I didn’t want to see it but—”

“Nyota, it’s all right. I accept your apology.”

“I’m still not okay with everything,” she admitted. “But I’m not foolish enough to let it jeopardize my career or my interpersonal relationships with the crew of this ship. Including you, Captain.”

“I’ve never doubted your integrity.”

She smiled and shook her head. “You’d be surprised. But I’m working on it. Anyway. I’m not really sure what to say here. Good luck doesn’t quite seem right. And I don’t think I can manage to congratulate you.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Jim assured her. “See you when I get back.”

“Yes, Captain.”

He went into the transporter room where Bones waited.

“You all right?” Bones asked.

“Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You aren’t nervous?”

"Bones, I've had sex before."

“With a guy?”

“Er, well—”

“With Spock? And the dreams don’t count.”

Jim grimaced. “I wasn’t nervous but I am now thanks to you.”

Bones pushed a bag into his hand.

“What’s all this?”

“Supplies. Lubricant—the reason for that should be obvious, hyposprays for the atmosphere—and make sure you use those regularly—you’ll have to fend off Spock long enough, some prepackaged snacks and water pouches—because you can’t survive on sex alone, a dermal regenerator—in case he gets especially rough, and—”

Jim peered inside. “Okay, okay. I think I got it, Bones. You even thought to pack a pillow. How thoughtful.”

“I can be thoughtful on occasion.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.” Jim smiled. “And a robe too. For my modesty?”

“Well, I didn’t figure you wanted to be naked the entire time.”

Yeah, and that brought the whole thing up clearly in his mind. Jim naked with Spock for days. Naked and vulnerable.  With a sex crazed, dominant Vulcan.

“Are you in there, Jim?” Bones was waving his hand in front of Jim’s face.

“Yeah, I’m here.” He rolled his eyes at Bones. “Anything else or are you ready to beam down for this ceremony?”

“One more thing.”

Jim eyed his friend. “What?”

“Are you out of your corn fed mind?” Bones demanded.

“Funny. We discussed this. Sex with Spock or he dies, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah. But you’re going to be saddled with the hobgoblin for the rest of your lives.”

“You take now when it’s time to go to give me this, ‘Are you sure you know what you’re doing, Jim’ nonsense? Well guess what? I don’t. Okay? I have no idea. But this is Spock. He’s not gonna die. And I’ll be fine. Got it?”

Bones sighed. “All right. Got it.”

They stepped onto the transporter pad.

“Energize.”

A stern looking Vulcan waited for them. Like there was any other kind, now that Jim thought about it.

“Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy?”

“Yes.”

“This way.”

Bones grumbled about hobgoblins as they followed the Vulcan down a long dusty path. Jim had to rush to keep up with him which made Bones grumpier.

“Don’t they know this atmosphere is crap?”

“They chose it because it’s similar to Vulcan.”

“I know that. I’m not a complete idiot.”

Jim sighed. “Try not to make this harder.”

They turned a corner and went down a longer path and then down yet another one. At the end of this path stood a large group of Vulcans and Jim recognized Spock and Sarek among them.

Jim’s steps faltered.

“Jim?” Bones grabbed his arms. “Are you all right?”

“I’m okay.” He licked his lips. “This is really happening, isn’t it?”

Bones gave him a sympathetic look. “Yeah, it is.”

“I can do this. I can.”

Bones smiled and squeezed his shoulder. “They’re waiting.”

Jim nodded. Made himself walk the rest of the way.

Spock's head was bowed but Jim had a feeling Spock was watching his every move. Jim was told to stand next to Spock in front of a very old Vulcan woman who spoke to them in Vulcan. Jim didn’t understand a word of it but he was told to kneel, so he did.

She put one hand on Spock’s forehead and the other on Jim’s.

“What thee are about to see comes down from the time of the beginning, without change. This is the Vulcan heart. This is the Vulcan soul. This is our way,” she spoke.

Spock stood and hit a gong nearby. It vibrated loudly and shook the ground.

More words were spoken and Spock hit the gong once more. Then he knelt next to Jim again. Her hands were on their faces again and he felt a buzzing in his head.

“It is done,” she announced.

Jim shook his head. What the fuck?

He was aware of everyone moving away. Then Bones was helping him to his feet.

“Bones?”

“One more thing,” Bones said, shoving the bag into Jim’s hands. “There’s a shelter over there.”

Jim followed Bones’ gaze.

“That’s where Spock is taking you. So you’ll be out of the sun. Any trouble, you contact me immediately.” He pushed a communicator into Jim’s hands.

Jim heard a low growl and he glanced to the side. Spock was coming toward him, his eyes incredibly dark, his expression feral.

“Bones, go away.”

“Jim—”

Spock pushed Bones out of the way and seized Jim’s biceps. “ _Mine_.”


	13. It Begins

Spock seized his mate’s arms and lifted him away from McCoy who had his hands on Jim. No one was allowed to touch Jim but Spock. He narrowed his eyes and bared his teeth at McCoy.

“Easy, easy, Spock.” McCoy held up his hands in surrender. “He’s all yours.”

“Mine. “

McCoy’s eyes widened but he stepped back and away.

Spock turned his attention to Jim, who was the only one who was important. Jim was staring at Spock, the pupils in his intense blue eyes blown wide. His lips were wet and parted, his tongue partially showing. Spock’s hunger for this human increased tenfold. Somewhere in the back of his mind he remembered he was to take Jim to the shelter which had been provided for Jim’s comfort.

He hoisted Jim over his shoulder, there was a small gasp from Jim when he did so, and headed in the direction of the shelter. It was not far, for which Spock was grateful. It was difficult to wait to claim his mate.

There was no door in the shelter, simply a doorway since it was temporary. A sleeping mat had been laid in the middle, though Spock had little intention of allowing Jim to sleep.

He took the bag Jim still held and tossed it aside while at the same time placing his mate on the sleeping mat.

Jim stared up at Spock, his skin flushed, his eyes completely focused on Spock.

Spock clenched his fists. “I will claim you.”

Jim nodded but said nothing.

Spock tore Jim’s clothes off then, starting first with the sandals he’d been given as footwear. He’d worn light, easily removable clothes from what Spock surmised, but he did not care to wait to take them off to salvage them. They were quickly shredded from Jim’s body, leaving golden naked human skin to Spock’s gaze.

He removed his robe with quick efficiency and knelt beside his mate. Jim’s breath hitched and his chest rose and fell rapidly.

“You need not fear me,” Spock told him harshly.

“I-I don’t.”

“You lie.” Spock tugged on Jim’s hair until his face was next to Spock’s. “You are forever mine, James Kirk. I will not share you with another.”

He crushed their lips together in a punishing, teeth clanking kiss. Spock blindly reached for the jar of oil he was aware was left for them. He did not end the kiss, and instead shoved his tongue in Jim’s mouth while holding his mate down. He felt Jim tremble beneath him but it increased his excitement.

Jim was compliant, submissive and it thrilled Spock. He would never have thought the man with such bravado would lie there shaking and waiting for Spock to have him. But he was gratified. No, he was excited. He wished to dominate this human.

Fingers dipped in oil, Spock slid his hand down Jim’s body and he shoved those oiled fingers inside Jim’s ass. Jim moaned…whether in pain or pleasure, Spock did not know. They were a near thing to each other.

He thrust his digits inside, spreading his mate even while continuing to devour Jim’s swollen human lips. Jim whimpered which sent a tingly thrill straight to Spock’s cock, now hard and engorged.

His need was great. He started thrusting against Jim’s body. The fever burned.

Finally he could not wait for Jim to acclimate to the intrusion any longer. He withdrew his fingers, oiled his cock, and hoisted Jim’s legs up high in the air, wrapping them around himself as he entered Jim’s ass in one long thrust.

“Spock,” Jim groaned.

Spock began to move fast and deep within his mate, his captain, his Jim.  Jim was clinging to him now, his breaths turned to pants, his eyelids half-closed. It reminded Spock a bit of when Jim was being choked by him, which since that was likely when their bond formed, seemed fitting to him.

He resorted to speaking Vulcan low and roughly as he continued to push into Jim over and over, brushing across Jim’s prostate again and again until Jim babbled in coherently. Spock plunged deeper still, now holding Jim’s arms above his head, holding him down.

The fever burned hotter. It was not enough. He needed everything, full surrender. Full claiming of this human. He needed—

“You belong to me,” he growled.

Jim’s eyes rolled back but he said nothing.

“Say it,” Spock ordered. “Say that I command you.”

“Spock—”

“Say my name.  Say I command you. You are mine and only mine. Now.”

He slammed into Jim harder, drawing a cry from those swollen and bruised lips.

“You-you command me, Spock. I belong to you. Only you.”

“Yes,” Spock ground out. “I own you. Claim you. For all time.”

He moved his hand to Jim’s face, entered his mind, joined them this way too. Jim shuttered beneath him as he came and Spock joined him with a roar only a moment later, painting Jim’s insides with his seed.

Jim was breathing heavily but Spock did not pull out. He stayed imbedded in his mate. Waiting for the fever to return. It would not be long. His fingers gripped Jim’s jaw tightly as he once more devoured and bit at Jim’s lips, mouth, tongue. His cock began to stir, harden again within his mate.

“Fuck,” Jim whispered, his eyes widening in surprise as Spock began to swell inside him.

“Mine,” Spock said again, as once more he plowed into Jim, taking him.


	14. Taking Care of Jim

Jim opened his eyes and realized for the moment, Spock wasn’t rutting into him. Spock had his arms wrapped tight around Jim, keeping him basically plastered to Spock’s chest. But Spock's cock was no longer inside him, but rather rested against the crease of Jim’s ass. He took a cautious breath and wheezed. His gaze searched the shelter for the bag Bones had given to him. He couldn’t reach it from within Spock’s cocoon.

He began to move, attempting to extract himself. Spock instantly woke and squeezed him close.

“No!”

“Spock, I-I need—” Jim gasped out a breath.

“What is wrong?”

“Breathe. I need a hypo from the bag.”

Spock moved to his knees and pushed Jim gently down on the sleeping mat. “Be still. I will retrieve it.”

Spock stood and went to the bag. He pulled out the pillow and tossed it in Jim’s direction. Jim put it under his head. Spock came close and knelt beside Jim. He pulled a hypo out of the bag.

“I can do it.”

“Silence. I will do it. It is my duty to see to your needs.” Spock injected it into Jim’s neck. Jim felt immediate relief. “Better?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

Spock studied him intently and then he removed something else for the bag. “You need sustenance.”

Jim realized he was holding cheese and crackers in his hand. Or what passed for them from the synthesizers on the Enterprise, anyway.  Jim put his hand out for them.

“I will feed them to you.”

“You’ll what?” Jim stared at him, wide eyes. “Spock, I can feed myself.”

“Open your mouth.”

“Spock—”

Spock narrowed his eyes. Jim opened his mouth and Spock fed him a cracker with cheese spread on it. He did this with three other crackers before reaching into the bag once more and handing Jim a pouch of water.

Jim gratefully drank from it and after several sips offered it to Spock.

Spock shook his head. “The only thing I need at present is you.”

Jim licked his lips and nodded and finished the rest of the water in the pouch.

Spock continued to stare very intensely at Jim. “Will the lubricant Dr. McCoy provided be more comfortable for you then the oil provided by my people?”

“I really don’t know.”

“You have never had intercourse with another male?”

Jim knew he was blushing. “No. Well, obviously I have now.”

He didn’t miss the look of extreme satisfaction on Spock’s face.

“So, uh, I take it we aren’t done.”

“No, ashaya.”

There was an such intensity to Spock, one Jim was not used to from his usual unflappable first officer. He watched Jim without hardly a blink. There was a very slight tremor in his hands.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly.

“I am just controlling myself at the moment.”

“From-from what?”

“Taking you again.”

“Oookay.” Jim swallowed. “What are you waiting for?”

“You to be ready. I will never hurt you, t’hy’la. I would choose death before that.”

“I’m ready.”

“You are sure?”

Jim was sore. He couldn’t deny that. But being fucked by Spock was no hardship. Spock was an incredible lover.

“I am. Let’s do it. How do you want me?”

Spock’s eyes widened and he pounced on Jim with a growl. Jim found himself flipped onto his stomach and his hipbones grabbed in Spock’s strong grip. Jim moaned as Spock pushed into him. Deep and fully embedded in Jim’s throbbing ass. Jim pushed back, rising on his elbows and Spock stilled him.

“T'nash-veh,” Spock breath into Jim’s ear.

Spock moved within him, thrusting in, pulling out, his hot breaths stirring the hair on the back of Jim’s neck.  Jim managed to get his hand under him and close around his own cock. He closed his eyes and buried his face into the pillow as Spock plunged repeatedly into his snug entrance.

“Spock, yes. Take me, take me,” Jim moaned hoarsely. Pushing back with every push in of Spock’s.

Spock was making animalistic noises that just egged Jim on more. His fingers pulled roughly on his dick, his dick brushed against the fingers and the sleeping mat, sending electric thrills to his balls.

Long fingers threaded through his hair as Spock tugged his head back by his hair.

“Oh Fuck,” Jim gasped, as Spock’s teeth nipped his neck. Jesus. He wondered if Spock would always be like this when they had sex.

His balls pulled tight and Jim was coming, coming, coming.

Spock followed after him, speaking in Vulcan. Afterwards, Spock collapsed on Jim, not moving.

Jim closed his eyes and Spock’s hand stroked his head.

“Are you petting me?” Jim asked with a laugh.

Spock made an affronted noise and continued to pet Jim.


	15. Space Husbands At Last

Spock watched Jim as he slept. It was the end of the third day and he felt much calmer. Before Jim had fallen into a deep sleep, Spock had taken him several times, including once while Jim straddled him and once while Jim lay on his side. The blood fever appeared to be over.

He still wanted Jim, but the compelling urge to continuously mate was gone.

Before Jim had fallen asleep, Spock had washed him with cloth and cool water, then dressed him in the light robe he’d found in the bag supplied by Dr. McCoy.  Spock had lain beside him and slept a little, but he found himself wishing to keep an eye on his mate. Jim seemed all right. Spock had given him another shot with the hypo for his breathing. Jim was sweating a lot, though, and Spock did not wish for him to get overheated.

When this human had become so important to him, Spock could not say. It had sneaked up on him. He’d known that Jim mattered more than most humans to him when Jim had died and been resurrected, but even then he had not realized the depth of his regard for Jim. For a long time he tried to ignore it. He did not know he had bonded to Jim, not at first. And then he had been hit with Pon Farr.

Jim’s eyelids lifted, revealing blue. “Hey.”

“Jim.”

Jim licked his lips. “Thirsty.”

Spock, who was sitting cross-legged very close to Jim, reached into the bag for another pouch of water, which he handed to Jim.

Jim sat up, winced a bit while adjusting himself, and drank the contents quickly. “Thanks.”

“You are well?”

“Uh, I think so. Little sore.”

Spock nodded. “That is to be expected.”

Jim smiled a little. “I imagine so. Are you—?”

“The fever is gone.”

Jim blew out a breath. “So that’s it then?”

“As far as Pon Farr, yes.”

“Well, that wasn’t so bad,” Jim said with a grin. “I mean lots of sex with you?”

“I did worry it would be much worse,” Spock admitted.

“Yeah?”

Spock shrugged slightly. “We do not speak of it. I was unsure exactly what to expect. I did consult my father—”

“You asked your father about sex with me?”

“It was not addressed in that exact term, but I had to make him aware of who my intended was. He was certainly aware of how Pon Farr works. It was only logical to consult with him regarding the consequences.”

“And yet you said you worried it might be much worse.”

“My father chose not to go into too many details for obvious reasons,” Spock said primly. “I had heard rumors prior to my consultation that I could injure you. I did not desire that outcome.”

Jim nodded. “Okay, what if your father had confirmed these rumors and told you that you would injure me?”

“I would have considered my options.”

His captain frowned. “Meaning what exactly?”

Spock averted his gaze. “Perhaps choosing death.”

“Spock—”

“It does not matter now. It is illogical to have a discussion about something that did not occur.”

Jim narrowed his eyes. “Sometimes I could just smother you.”

“You are aggravated.”

“You think?” Jim ran a hand through his sweat soaked hair. “God, I feel gross.”

Spock leaned forward and grabbed Jim’s biceps. “Explain. If you need medical attention—”

“What I need is a shower. I’m sweaty and gross, Spock. I don’t need medical attention for that.”

“You also need a real meal instead of mere snacks. And perhaps it would be wise to have Dr. McCoy check you out to be certain.”

“There’s no way Bones is examining my ass.”

“Jim—”

‘Spock, I’m fine. You can’t go rutting around in there for a few days, but otherwise, it’s going to be okay.”

Spock felt himself blush. “You are impossible.”

“Impossible and tired. And fucking hot. Can we go back to the ship now, do you think?”

“Yes. Whenever you are ready, I will contact the ship.”

****

As soon as they stepped off the transporter pad, Nurse Chapel approached the captain. Spock immediately stood in front of Jim, blocking her access. She stopped and blinked up at him.

“Uh, Spock. I thought you said it was finished,” Jim said from behind him.

Spock straightened. “My apologies, Captain. It appears there is some residual effect.”

Jim sighed. “Move.”

Spock did.

Chapel gave them a tentative smile. “Dr. McCoy wants you in sickbay, Captain. He would have told you himself but he was dealing with an injured crew member.”

Jim shook his head. “I don’t need to see Bones.”

“Captain—”

“Perhaps it would be wise, Captain,” Spock spoke up. “You know how stubborn the doctor is. He will likely chase you down.”

“Mr. Spock can come with you.” Chapel said.

“I had not intended otherwise,” Spock said with an arch of his brow.

“Fine. But this better be quick.”

Spock followed him to sickbay and stayed by his side while McCoy insisted on giving him a physical. Jim was not amused.

“Told you I was fine,” Jim muttered as they left sickbay.

“I am still gratified to have confirmation of that.”

They made their way into the turbolift and then the deck with the officers’ quarters. While they’d been away their belongings had been moved into shared quarters. Dr. McCoy had seen to all the forms and regulations.

“I guess this is it.” Jim stopped in front of a door, then looked over at Spock. “This could get kind of weird.”

“How so?”

“I’ve never really lived with anyone.”

“You shared a dorm with Dr. McCoy at the Academy.”

Jim punched in his code and the door slid open. “Not even close to the same thing. I wasn’t sleeping with Bones.”

“For which I am gratified.”

They stepped inside.

It was quite large, the room. There was a bed easily big enough for the two of them instead of the single bunks they’d been used to. There was a desk and chairs along with a terminal. A sitting area with a couch and an alcove where Spock’s meditation items had been placed.

“It seems as though the doctor has thought of everything.”

“Hmm.” Jim went to the bathroom and peered in. “Okay this is nice. Nice big shower.”

He came back into the main room.

“Are you sure about this, Spock?”

“About what?”

“Being roomies.”

“We are not roomies, we are mates. Husbands if you prefer the standard term. I have no preference.”

 “Yeah but—”

“Is it not common for husbands to live together?”

“Yes.”

“Then why are you attempting to avoid living with me?”

“I’m not. I just—I need a shower.” Jim shook his head and went into the bathroom. A few minutes later Spock heard the shower running.

While Jim showered, Spock sat at the terminal and took care of some ship’s business that needed to be done. They had been granted a few more days leave, but Spock was aware Jim would still want to be involved with the ship. Spock took care of matters so Jim would not have to be bothered.

He was finished by the time Jim reemerged wearing only a towel.

Spock clenched his fists and took a step forward. Jim noticed too because his eyes widened.

“Uh, Spock—”

“You need not fear.”

“I’m not afraid,” Jim insisted. “But, uh, I think I’d better put clothes on.”

“Perhaps.” He watched Jim search through the drawers to find his clothes. “Are you always this ill-tempered post-coitus?”

Jim made a choking sound. “Now there’s something I never expected to hear out of you.”

“Clarify.”

“Post-coitus. And did you just call me grumpy?”

“I may have.”

Jim pulled on a shirt. “I assume my dreams are over.”

“Dreams?”

“Very erotic, explicit Spock takes no prisoners dreams.”

Spock’s brows furrowed. “What?”

“Sex, Spock.”

“You had dreams where we copulated?”

Jim shook his head and put on a pair of shorts. “You know I think you’re the only one who could make those stupid, hoity-toity words you use for fucking sound really hot.”

Spock closed his mouth. Then he opened it. “So the answer to my question is in the affirmative.”

“What question?”

“You are always this ill-tempered post-coitus.”

Jim burst out laughing then. “God, you’re really something.”

Spock eyed him uncertainly. “And that is good?”

Jim’s face was softened by a smile. “It’s amazing. “ He came over to where Spock stood and to Spock’s surprise he put his arms around Spock’s neck. “So, are you really done with Pon Farr?”

“Yes.” Spock arched a brow. “You are disappointed?”

“Well, sex with you was really…incredible.”

“Jim, I do not only copulate when in Pon Farr.”

Jim grinned. “I had guessed that. But I thought maybe your excellent skill might have been enhanced by—” Spock shook his head. “No? That’s all you and your normal skill?”

“My urge to mate constantly is directly from the Pon Farr. However, I imagine there will be no difference in the way we copulate.”

“Well.” Jim licked his lips. “That is good news.”

“This was a concern of yours?”

Jim shrugged. “I have my priorities.”

“I think you need not worry.”

Jim kissed him softly. “So we are really Mister and Mister Kirk?”

“Mister and Mister Kirk?’ Spock asked.

Jim grinned. “Oh. Right. Captain and Mister Kirk. My mistake.”

“Jim—”

“Captain Kirk and Commander Kirk.”

“You are impossible.”

“You’ve said that. I think, now that I think about it, like a lot.”

“I suspect I will be saying it many more times,” Spock replied.

“Probably. But now you are mine.”

“You are mine,” Spock corrected.

“Semantics. Anyway, it’s real, isn’t it? Not just only in my dreams?”

Spock tilted Jim’s chin up and kissed him. “It is real.”

 


End file.
